The Final Shot
By Mona, age 17, Philippines
Sweet Designs Featured Writer
I thought I had learned my lesson on drinking. Remember my article about alcoholism? ("When Enough Is Enough", SDM, April '08) Well, it happened again. I couldn't control myself. My friends threw a party with a mobile bar. Mobile bars hop from party to party, setting up their bar and serving drinks for a couple of hours. Usually once they set up, you can go back again and again until they close, and then they leave.
I was overwhelmed. There were so many drinks on the bar and I couldn't help it. I had to get a drink. I told myself to control myself, but looking at the bar full of colorful drinks I was weak. I took another, and then another.
I don't know why I can't control myself when it comes to drinking. When I was in high school, I never did these kinds of things. I didn't get drunk every weekend or party all the time. My thinking is, "this is college". It's because now that I am in college and studying in a school far away from my parents, my attitude is I'm free. I don't have any parents to punish me or give me orders because they're not even here. Plus, the thing about college is that a lot of people throw parties. I think I drink because of peer pressure. Everyone is drinking, so I drink.
Later that night, I wasn't aware that I had fallen asleep right there on my friend's sofa. When I woke up, I puked. Not just an ordinary puke - it was like waterfalls. I haven't puked since I was little, but that night it was like I puked my whole stomach. I felt so bad. I was so ashamed because it wasn't my house and I wasn't the one who had to clean up my mess. I couldn't forgive myself for losing control. I was supposed to be a controlled drinker. I guess during that moment I really couldn't control it anymore because it had been a while since my last drinking session.
I also felt bad because I destroyed the life of the party because of the mess I made. After that incident I promised myself I wouldn't drink like that again. I was so impulsive because I was overwhelmed. I thought of myself as an alcoholic because of the alcohol I drank almost every weekend.
But things are different now. Right now, I keep on telling myself and my friends that I won't ever drink again, and all they say is, "That's what they all say". I hate to agree, but it's true. That's what I'm saying now because of what happened, but the next time someone throws a party, it is likely I will drink again.
But I have learned my lesson, like I said earlier. Moderate is the word. Personally, I shouldn't avoid college parties. That's what college partly is about, the parties and the friends you meet during those parties. But I'm never going to drink like that again. That night at my friend's house was too much for me to handle. I felt sick to my stomach, and the next day was worse.
That was the final shot. I will never make that mistake again.
