Never Been Kissed
By Elizabeth, age 20, Pennsylvania
Editor's Note: Our newest Real Life/Advice columnist Elizabeth, with advice for those of us who feel like, when it comes to relationships, we're missing the party.
Busi writes:
Well, I am a 15 year old girl who has never had a boyfriend! Like, never even gone on a date, had a guy flirt with me, kiss a guy, etc. Like, NO GUYS in my life AT ALL! And the worst part is...I go to a co-ed school, and have been for my whole life.
What is wrong with me? I mean, it kind of hurts or feels weird when I give my friends relationship advice when I have never been in one. It's like I am missing out on life.
I mean, I get so shy when I am around boys and I have had tons of crushes whom I saw as potential boyfriends, but they never like me back.
What should I do? I mean, all my friends say I am a nice person - what more do guys want?
I am not saying I want just any guy, but I want guys to notice me for who I am.
Dear Busi,
I'm glad I received your question. Reading throughout your question made me realize how similar your life is to the way I used to be at the age of 15...exactly.
* Went to a co-ed school my whole life
* Shy around guys
* Gave advice to friends about relationships but was not in one
* Never dated
* Never kissed a guy
* Was a nice person
* Felt like a reject
First, boys at that age are complex. They don't know what they want in a way. What most boys look for is a physical attraction and a girl who will go all the way. Most importantly, don't change who you are in order to have a guy like you, because at the end of the day it isn't worth it. Be yourself and don't follow the crowd. Don't be afraid to speak out for yourself.
The biggest mistake I made was having a friend set me up. She was a good friend, but had a bad reputation, so you might know where this is going. I lost my "innocence" to a guy I met three times. I regret the fact that I didn't take my time to find someone I could trust, who respected my body, soul, and mind. Take your time; don't worry so much about being with a guy. You still have your whole life ahead.
Believe me, now in college, I have grown so much in every way possible. I have about 5 guys - no lie - who like me. They respect me and see me as an intelligent, sincere, and insightful woman.
So let me know how this works out. Take care and good luck. Remember, no rush...You can't change the past.
Sincerely,
Liz
