Dating Isn't Easy: My True Story
By Kassondra, age 20, Rhode Island
Dating is probably one of, if not, the most confusing things you will go through in your lifetime, starting in your teenage years. It's nothing like school, where you start off easy and slowly work your way to a harder level. Unfortunately, the hardest of your dating years will come when you are younger, and hopefully it will progressively become easier as you get older. I could pick one guy I have dated and just analyze and bash every single thing he did wrong, and somehow forget to mention the good part of him that even made me want to date him in the first place. But I would rather take two guys I have dated and compare them from the good, the bad, and the totally ugly. I would say my judgment is just as good as yours.They say "you'll never forget your first love." From where you first met to the place where it all came crashing down, it'll stick in your mind like pine sap sticks to your shoes or clothes - it's never coming off. It's true. My first love is tattooed on my brain, and as much as I try to forget, there's just no remedy strong enough to erase him. I ask myself day after day why I try so hard to erase him. If he was my first love, wouldn't I want to remember him? Hey, maybe I wasn't in love; maybe I just wanted to believe I was. For some reason, we girls rush into love as if it's an after Christmas sale; we have to get it before someone else does. But what happens when it's the guy that rushes into love?
I had spent a year and a half of my life with this boy that I was "in love" with, my longest relationship ever. We spent a lot of time together and things were great. About a month into it he spilled the words "I love you" to me over an instant message. There are many reasons why you don't share things of that value for the first time over the internet, one being the fact that I thought he was kidding. Embarrassing? Yes. I felt bad not responding to it, but come on, at least be somewhat romantic and say it while you are physically present in the room with me. We made it over that hurdle and began saying I love you to each other more frequently. I truly believed that I loved this boy because no matter what he did, I still liked him, even when he began to treat me like dirt.
It is often said that all men are jerks, and it is very rare to find one who will treat a girl right. I thought this boy was perfect, but as society tells it, it happened. His personality totally shifted. He called me names, ditched me constantly, and I would go days without hearing from him. As much as my friends tried to pull me away, I didn't want to listen. I just kept going back to get crapped on - your typical good girl / bad boy scenario. My friends watched and listened to me complain and cry day after day, trying to convince me that I was way too good for him and could find someone so much better. I just couldn't understand where this mystery man was and why he would fall for me. My future with dating looked completely hopeless.
After a year and a half of total chaos, I finally came to the realization that my friends were right and I called it quits. Not too long after, Prince Charming came to my rescue. This new boy was very nice, extremely handsome, and the fact that he was an athlete didn't hurt either. My parents loved him and he had me smiling from ear to ear every day. It was a nice change from the previous relationship I had dealt with. It's a little sad when a boy holding a door open for you is a big deal, but it just wasn't something I was used to. Everything this boy did was amazing; it was like he could do no wrong. I had finally found that mystery man my friends were referring to all that time. We hung out almost every day and every moment spent with him was nice.
Then one night, unexpectedly, my worst fear happened: he turned into a jerk. No, that can't happen; he's too good for that! But when you break up with your girlfriend in a text message, it screams jerk. It wasn't the kind of thing I'd come to expect from him, of all people. I tried to wrap my mind around it but it just resulted in tears.
I've come to learn that maybe it's true that not everyone is quite what they seem. I don't believe that all men are jerks; it's still early in my dating life. They were two boys out of a billion others; I'm sure I'll snatch a good one.
