By Stephanie Lynn
He Steals and Has Anger Issues
What should I do if I love this guy, and I know he feels the same about me, but he has some anger issues that sometimes scare me. He also steals, but he swears he is going to make it up to me. Should I go back out with him? Or just be friends?
It is never good to stay in a relationship with someone if he has bad anger issues and steals. If you continue to go out with him, one day you just might want to marry him, and then you will have to deal with those issues. Then if you want to break up with him it will be a lot harder to do.
A Two Year Age Difference Okay?
Ok ... uh ... I'm 13, and my boyfriend is 15. Is that bad? Is he too old
for me? I really, really, really LOVE this boy a lot. I'm very, very
mature for my age. Should I continue this relationship with him or
should I tell him goodbye because he's too old for me???
Two years really isn't THAT bad if you really do love him as much as you
claim, as long as you are acting your age. I don't mean act like a
little immature thirteen year old girl. But be careful. I believe the
age would only be a problem if you two were doing things a thirteen year
old girl should not be doing. So if he is being good and respecting the
fact that you are still thirteen, so be it.
I Said I Love You ... Then I Met Someone Else
Okay, well, I have been going out with this boy for a month now, and we
tell each other we love each other. The problem is I started hanging out
somewhere else without him, and I met this other guy. Well, I have met
him before, but we just now started talking. And I really kind of like him!
I don't know what to do, because I think I love the boy I am dating now, but not for sure, 'cuz I am young and I just want to have fun! But if I leave him I might regret it, and I probably won't get another chance with him! I am so confused, and it's starting to stress me out! Well, thanks for listening to what I had to say!
Alright, Jessica, I don't mean to be a jerk, but I would NOT recommend
telling someone you love him after only one month. It's committing - now
you think you have to stay with him 'cause you've said you love him. But
you do like this other guy. This is tough. You seriously have to decide.
Sit back and look at it, and think to yourself, "Am I only wanting to
stay with this guy because I said I love him?" Do you like the other guy
enough to leave the one you only "think" you love?
You seriously have to take a risk here 'cause I'm sure you don't want to lose either of them. So decide on one of them. KNOW how you feel, okay? Don't just THINK you know. If you KNOW you love your boyfriend, stay with him. Don't stay with him just because you THINK you do and you don't want to lose him.
Besides, you are young. You don't need to be committed. If I were you, I'd play the field. You may never know. You may actually find a real love with this new guy, because to me it sounds like you just want to stay with your boyfriend 'cause you told him you loved him, not that you actually do love him.
People Said Negative Things About Us
My boyfriend and I recently broke up. We started out as friends, and
then it just grew from there. When we broke up, it was on our one month.
He told me that he thought that it wasn't working out and that we should
break up. He asked if I was ok, and I told him yes, that I agreed, but
in reality, I really did care. I didn't want to make a big deal about it
and make him think I was mad, even though I was. I think that there was
more to the reason than he was telling me. While we were going out
people would always say negative things to us and make rude comments
about him to me. I think it really scared him away. I don't know if I
should talk to him about it or not. What do you think I should do?
I feel really bad for you right now, but I guess you cannot believe
everything you hear, right? So here's what I would do - DEFINITELY talk
to him. I would confront him and ask him, "Did you break up with me just
because people were saying crap about me behind my back?" Whatever his
answer may be (yes or no), just tell him either way that if ANYONE did
that to you, that's a really crappy thing to do, and you'd be really
upset. What's more, if anyone cared about you enough, they would care
less about what other people say. If he stays broken up with you, I
guess it was just not meant to be, but that isn't that big of a deal.
It's a wide world.
A Month Apart - It's Killing Me
I think I might love my boyfriend. He always tells me he does, but I
don't want to say it back until I know for sure. In the past I have said
it, and it ended up a mess, to be honest. And I know they all say this,
but this time it's really different. We've been together for 3 months
now, and it's perfect. I can't go a day without seeing him, and I can't
last longer than 2 hours without speaking to him. How do I know if I
love him for sure? He's doing his GCS's now, so he has to revise a lot,
and can't see me for like a month, and I've been getting down about it
because I can't see how I can go a month without seeing him!
I'm going to be self-centered for a second here. I was the exact same
way. Every time I said "I love you" to someone, it was a nightmare, then
finally I said it and I meant it, and it was beautiful. Here's the thing
... If you love someone that much, I believe you can survive a month. In
fact, I know you can. Just think about all the wonderful times
you've had. It may be dark and depressing for a while, but once he
returns, you may find you love him even more. You know how they always
say "distance makes the heart grow fonder". It may sound like bulls**t,
but I believe it's true. It also prevents you from growing bored with
him. Bottom line: if it's real love, you can last for years apart.
Afraid He's Going to Push Me
Well, there's this boy I've been talking to. He's 15, and he's really
sweet. He told me to go over to his house to chill with him, and bring
movies so he can kiss me in the middle of the movie. But I'm scared he's
gonna force me to do something more than that, so I don't know if I
If you don't feel comfortable about the situation, it's best to go with
your gut feeling. You should tell him that you don't feel comfortable
about it because you think you should get to know him better. That way
you can tell if he is the kind to force you into doing something you
don't want to do.
Stuck in "Friend Zone"
Okay, there is this guy, and I dated him 3 times, and the third time I
heard this rumor that he was just dating me for the heck of it ... and
he didn't really like me. So instead of talking to him about it I broke
up with him. I was extremely stupid for it.
Later, after we became really, really, really close friends, I began to like him ... and my feelings for him progressed, and I fell in love with him. But of course he had already gone back out with one of his ex's, and they had a really good relationship, and he loved her, and he was really happy with her, so I didn't want to mess them up. I just wanted him to be happy.
But then after about 5 months of waiting for him (he knew I was going to wait for him and that I loved him, because we are best friends, and I had already told him, and he was ok with it) he said that he did like me but he was in a relationship, so maybe one day we would get back together ...
Then, like 3 months later, he and his girlfriend broke up, and I was his shoulder and I helped him through it. Then after all that he said that he really liked me and we were fixing to go back out. I was really happy. But My BFF liked him too ... and later he told me that he really wanted to go out with me ... but he liked my friend too. So I was like, "Well, whatever you decide to do will be ok, and as long as it makes you happy then I will be ok with it." And he said, "Ok, thanx".
About a week later he said that he decided to go out with my friend, and that me and him could continue being best friends like always. It devastated me! But now when he and I try to hang out or have fun together like friends his girlfriend gets jealous and screams at me for it. But he and I have been very good friends for a very long time ... longer than they have. And now I have lost my friendship with her because she doesn't understand that he and I are friends. She is always jealous of our relationship ... so now I'm not sure what to do about that.
Oh, and now I am even more in love with him and I'm so stuck in "friend zone". It's horrible!! And he talked to me about breaking up with his gf and going back out with me about a week ago because she is boring, and he isn't sure what to do about it ... but then things got better between them ... so it's like there's no hope for me and him ... But I can't let him go - I have tried. I like him too much!! So now I'm stuck waiting for the same guy that I have waited for a whole year and I'm not sure if it's going to happen or not. CAN U PLZ HELP ME?
Ah well, Shelby, you are in a little of a bind!! So my advice to you is
this: if you are absolutely positive you like this guy, well, then I
think you should tell him how you feel!!! Tell him that you love that
you guys are best friends, but you want to be more! If he really likes
you and does want to be with you, then he will be with you! But you also
have to keep in mind that yes, you're his best friend, and he knows that
you like him, and that maybe he knows that you have been and/or will
always be waiting for him!
So you do need to tell him how you feel. If he doesn't feel the same, or isn't sure, then at least you know you can move on! You may not want to, but for your sake and your heart's sake, you should do what is best for you! That way you have no more tears for this boy! If he doesn't feel the same way, yet you both still want to be friends, well then that's great! But you should also start thinking about hanging out with more guy friends! Just not him - maybe get a boyfriend and (this is not nice, but ...) make him jealous! Make him see you more than just a friend! This is not always easy, because we both know he is a boy!
I hope everything works out for you! Best friends do usually make the best boyfriends! Well, at least in my opinion, but then you do also have a chance of losing him as your bff. I hope you are willing to take that chance! Anyway, I give you my best wishes! Please let me know how it goes, if you wish!
♥ Stephanie Lynn
His Mom Doesn't Like Me
I have a boyfriend, and I really love him and everything, and we're
doing good as of now. But we've broken up 5 times already and then we'd
go out again a day later. During those breakups a lot of things
happened. Once I cheated on him at a party :x because I had some beer,
so I wasn't exactly myself. I know, not the greatest.
We got over that, but his mom certainly didn't. She found out, and she disliked me a lot, but kinda got over it. That was like the first time we broke up. Around the third time we broke up, I decided to go out with someone else. Then he said something in front of that boyfriend, and I punched him in the face and gave him a black eye. I had detention ... whatever.
His mom wasn't too happy about that either. Now like three or something weeks ago I gave him a hickey and she saw it. So at that point she was like about to kill me. Now I'm trying my hardest to get on her good side. I took everything off my Myspace that was like considered bad or whatever because she has one and looks at mine. I also just try to have like a nice conversation with her but she always picks out something bad about me.
I kissed my boyfriend at a track meet, and we didn't know his mom was above us on the bleachers, and she freaked out and said I had no respect to not kiss him in front of her because she doesn't want us to kiss or whatever.
I don't know what to do to make her like me. Everything I do is bad to her or I just act retarded and she get's all mad. I have no idea what to do anymore because everything I'm trying obviously doesn't work. You think you can help?
Well Kristen, every girl with a boyfriend thinks that their bf's mom
doesn't like them!! I think the same thing! Yes, you have done some
things for her to look down upon you, but she should get over it! But
you also have to know that she is scared - her little boy is growing up!
Experiencing new things, meeting new people, and getting a life of his
own! Now his mom will definitely not always like his friends or
girlfriends. But you have to cut her a little bit of slack. I know this
is hard, but at least she hasn't made you guys stop seeing each other!!
Just keep doing what you’re doing - being nice, making conversation,
saying hi when you see her. When you go to his house maybe help with the
dishes. You know, little things! And she will soon come around!!
Good Luck!!! Stephanie M.
She Talks About Her Old GF All the Time
Ok, so ... at the beginning of this school year I met this new girl, and
we became like BEST friends. Well, I have just recently admitted to
myself that I am bisexual, and I hadn't told anybody. The thing is, the
person that made me realize I was bi, if not lesbian, was HER.
Almost literally the day after I had my little epiphany she tells me she's bi, and has a gf back in her old town, and that she feels really bad about hiding it from me all year. So me being me, I just blurt out that I'm bi too, but manage to stop myself before I say anything else.
I REALLY, REALLY like her. I think I might be in love. And as if that's not bad enough, she talks about her gf all the time, and when I stay over at her house she like snuggles up to me so we can talk. =[ I know this is a little different of a problem, and if you don't want to answer it, that's fine. But I would really appreciate some help on what I should do, because this is killing me! She's the only one who even knows I'm bi, so I can't talk to any other friends without coming out to them!
I know how you feel, 'cept with a guy, but anyways, I am sure it is hard
for you to hear her talk about her gf. But you need to tell her that you
don't want to talk about her! Not in a rude way, just say, "I'm sure she
is great, but I'm sorry I just don't want to talk about her!" Or you
could say, "I know she is great, but could we please talk about
something else?" Ya know, just something to maybe give her a hint that
you don't want to talk about it!
Also, you could maybe tell her that you like her! When you have no one else to talk to I'm sure it is hard, but if she is your best friend, then you need to talk about it with her! At least put it out there! You never know. Maybe she feels the same way and she is scared, like you, to tell you!
You will never know till you tell her! Yes, you might get hurt! But, she's your best friend, and she will love you no matter what!!
Best of Luck! Stephanie M.
The Other Girls Flirt with Him
Ok. Here's the deal. I have been dating this guy. I mean, he is really sweet & we have dated before. We go skating every weekend together & I am always there with him. && there's these other girls who flirt with him even though I am around him. I mean I ignore them & stuff.
But now I have the chicken pox && I think he is going to go skating this weekend & I am afraid these girls are gonna try changing his mind about me since I am not there & crap. What should I do? I REALLY like this guy.
Maybe you should invite him to your house to watch a movie. Or if you can't have any friends over because you have the chicken pox, ask him if he would rather instead of going to the ice skating rink to IM you or talk to you on the phone. Or maybe you should confront him and tell him that you don't like the other girls always flirting with you.
Both Too Shy
Well, there's this guy that works at a restaurant. I like him and I think he does too, but we like never talk, cause we are both shy, and my parents are always with me. What can I do? I don't even know his name!
The next time you go to the restaurant ask for a table where he is serving, and when it is time to go leave a note next to the tip with your name and phone number. It is easier to talk to him on the phone so you can get to know him. When you are with him in person you both won't be that shy.
All My Friends Have Boyfriends
All of my friends have boyfriends or girlfriends except me. Everybody
tells me I'm pretty, and of anybody I could get a guy, but I can't. What
should I do?
First off, don't worry about having a boyfriend. It may seem like
everyone has a girlfriend or boyfriend, but not everyone does. If your
friends are saying you're pretty and can get any guy, the truth is the
guy is probably too intimidated to walk up to you and ask you out. Try
and get to know a few guys, and if you end up liking one make the first
move! It may be scary, but you can do it. But keep in mind - don't focus
your whole life on boys. Make sure school is your first priority. Good luck.
I think everyone feels like this at some point in their lives, especially
in their teens. I know I have. It's more than likely just a phase. I'm sure
you're a very gorgeous girl. The best advice I can give you is to not focus on
having a boyfriend. I usually find that when I'm in this situation I end up
finding a boyfriend right when I give up looking. Plus, when you're searching
for a boyfriend, that's when you normally find the jerks of the world. You just
kind of have to let nature take its course.
Lots of luck.
I Really Like Him ... But I Have a Boyfriend
The other day this guy told me he liked me, and I really, really like him. The problem is that I have a boyfriend. I don't want to tell the guy no because I've liked him for a while now. What should I do?
My advice is you need to decide whom you care about more. Is it the current boyfriend or the new guy? From what it seems like, it is the new guy. I say this because you say you have had feelings for him for a while and don't want to tell him no. If you cared about your boyfriend more, then you would have no doubt in your mind, and you would tell the new guy that you are happy in your current situation. But in the end it is what you feel.
If it is this new guy, then you need to break up with your current boyfriend, because dangling his heart on a string isn't fair to him, but also don't start dating the new guy right away either, because that isn't fair to your boyfriend. It will really hurt him. Good luck in your decision.
I Don't Want to Break His Heart
Well, I'm going out with this boy, and he really likes me, but I don't really like him, but I don't want to break his heart. What do you think I should do?
If you really don't like him, then continuing to date him is going to still hurt him. When he finds out he is going to be crushed and have harsh feelings toward you. If you break if off now you can at least explain to him that you don't see him the same way. He'll probably have some negative feelings for you, but they will probably subside in a short amount of time.
My Sisters Trying to Hook Me Up, But ...
I have a question. My sisters are trying to hook me up with this guy, but I don't like him. He is a really nice guy so I don't wanna hurt his feelings. What do I do?
Amy, tell your friends that you don't like him or that you don't think you have a connection with him. You could tell the guy that you don't have feelings for him and that you see him as more as a friend then a boyfriend.
I Asked Him to Prom - He Said No
I'm a junior, and next year is my prom. I saw how my senior friends were stressing about not finding a date. So I had the nerve to ask my good friend to be my prom date and he totally blew me off!!! :( Now I'm all depressed because I really expected him to say yes. Now what do I do so he could go with me? He's my perfect prom date. PLEASE HELP ME!!!
The good news is that your senior prom is next year, not next week. The bad news is that, after summoning the courage to ask someone you liked, you got turned down. It could be worse. Last minute I got stood up for my senior prom. I was just looking at my never-worn dress the other day. My good news is that I'm in a great relationship now. There are many disappointments in life, but often things have a way of working out ... especially when you have almost a year for them to do so. An even better guy may come along. And trust me, happiness in life DOES NOT depend on senior prom.
♥ Stephanie Lynn
He Really Likes Me ... And Her Too
I have a problem. Me and this guy really like each other a lot, and he asked me out and I said yes. The only thing is that he likes this other girl too, and has liked her before he ever met me. He doesn't know what to do, and neither do I. So if you can, please help me!!! I'm like really stressed out about this.
Well, this is simple. I'm going to give you the hard truth. You need to tell him that if he 'really' likes you there wouldn't be a problem. He shouldn't care about some other girl if it's you he wants! He needs to make a decision, and until then, you shouldn't go out with him. You can be friends, but tell him that he needs to think about who he really loves. When he figures out, he should ask out the girl he loves. If he has half a brain cell he'll most likely pick you!
Feelings Not Returned
Ok, well what do you do when you really like someone that asked you out but you said no, then later you found that you did have feelings for him ...but now he doesn't feel the same way about you? He says I'm pretty, but he won't give me a chance. What do I do now? I am completely head over heels for him, and I was the one who screwed up! Can you please let me know how I can at least move on or something!?!?!
I've gone through the exact same thing as you, Racho. You're still pretty young, but I'm sure you still remember those elementary crushes that everyone gets. No one became a couple and just admired each other from afar, correct? This is something like that!
When you said no, you probably didn't know him that well to actually like him back, but once he did ask you out, you started to notice him a bit more than before. Because of this you're now "head over heels" for the boy you rejected.
Think ... if he hadn't asked you out, would you have liked him like you do now? If your answer is yes, definitely, the boy was just probably going through one of those phases everyone has - liking someone at one time and then finding someone else just minutes later. If you said no, then I don't see a problem getting over him. If he wasn't someone that important in your life before, you should be able to move on quite easily.
I know there's that one little problem - that you just can't seem to get over him! Have you've been noticing other boys lately, besides the one you're talking about? Instead of sticking to that one boy, which you know is probably not going to have a happy ending anyway, just find someone else, or do what I do - stay away from the opposite sex completely.
Everyone knows getting over someone is tough, especially if you like them to a certain extent, but you just have to learn to cope with it and move on, focusing your interests somewhere else. That is all I can tell you, and I hope it helps :]
I Wanna Marry Him
I started dating this guy. I met him through my best friend (which is his sister). Well, we have only been together for a month and some odd days, and I have fallen in love with him. I mean he loves me back too, very much, but I want to spend the rest of my life with him, like marriage and everything. I won't confront him. I just wonder if it's normal - normal to love someone at such a age as mine, to want to marry them already?
Your question is, "Is it normal to love someone at your age?" The answer is yes.
However, hold on a second before you start leaping for joy. My concern is that you have only been dating for just over a month. I don't want you to get hurt. You may truly love this guy, and if you do, I am really happy for you. But I want you to realize that it is possible it may be just the puppy love stage. I don't know your situation, so this question is hard to answer. You are the only one who knows how you truly feel.
You are still young, and whether you want to believe it or not, you are still naive about love. You have a lot of time before you will be completely sure, and if you do love this guy as much as you say you do, and if he loves you like you say he does, then you have nothing to worry about. I just suggest slowing down a bit. If you are meant to be with this guy, it will happen, so don't rush into anything you will regret.
Another quick note: Just be careful. Don't forget your best friend and her feelings on this. Don't weird her out or leave her out. She was there before he was.
Best of Luck,
Is He Too Old for Me?
This isn't really a question, but is it wrong for a 14 year old to be dating a 17 year old?? The guy I like was born December 30, just one day shy from New Year's Eve.
I'm not sure the relevance of which day he was born, unless you're saying it means he's in his senior year by just two days, and will graduate in June. (I know this may not the case - it depends on the school system.) If I may ask, is it that your parents are opposed to you dating someone three years older, or are your friends opposed? Their concerns are understandable. Seven months from now he'll be an adult, and you'll be 15 ... and I think you understand the issues.
♥ Stephanie Lynn
He Doesn't Know I Exist
How do you know when you love someone?? How can I get him if he doesn't know I exist?
Ahh, well, this one is a difficult one. I've always tried to have the mindset "How can I love someone if they don't love me back?"
It obviously doesn't work for everyone. Really the only thing I can say is you don't truly know if you love him at all if he doesn't even know you exist. So in order to find out if you do indeed love him, get yourself noticed. You don't have to be drastic and yell from the hilltops that you love him. Just try to say hello, get to know him, build up some guts to talk to the boy, and know him as a friend. That way he will indeed know you exist and you will know him well enough to know if you do truly love him the way you might think you do.
I've had a boyfriend for a week, and my best friend recently told me that tomorrow he is expecting me to kiss him. I'm kind of nervous since I've never kissed anyone before, but I want to. At least, I think I want to. Well, what do you do when you kiss?
Ah, the all famous "How do you kiss? What is the right way? Is there a certain technique?"
Well, let me put it this way ... If you don't feel comfortable, don't kiss him. Kiss him only when the moment is right. If he cares about you, he will understand. However, when you are ready, there isn't a way I can tell you how to kiss. Your first kiss will probably kind of weird and not how you pictured it.
I remember my first kiss. It was nothing how I expected, but then again it was perfect because it was cute and innocent.
So if it doesn't go how you expected, that's okay. In five years you will look back and think just how I do about mine, but you won't regret it.
I'm His Second Choice
Okay, so me and my ex have been off and on 6 times. And we just broke up because he was going to ask another girl out, but if she said no then he was gonna stay with me, and if she said yes then he was gonna dump me ...
I still have feelings for him, but I don't want to have those feelings, and I've said no to 2 guys because I still like my ex. What should I do??
Why are you willing to be the girl he'll come back to if others turn him down? Even at 13, you need to have a little more self-respect. Find someone else ... but first, find yourself.
Like yourself enough to be in no relationship, rather than be in a bad one. Otherwise you'll spend your lifetime being disrespected by men, always being choice #2 or #342.
♥ Stephanie Lynn
My high school's PROM is coming up soon,
and the boys are beginning to ask the girls to go with them.
This guy asked me. And I'm torn on whether to say yes or no.
He's nice and all, but he's always had a crush on me,
and I feel like if I say yes, he will get the wrong impression.
Not to mention, I'm really hoping for my crush to ask me.
Should I be nice, and say yes? Or should I be honest, and say no?
You have defined THE classic Prom problem for girls, ever since the first Prom in recorded history. It sounds vaguely like an old Brady Bunch episode. You tell him yes, then if your crush asks you, you have a dilemma - you either dump your Prom date and really hurt him, or else do the right thing with regret. You say no, and then if your crush never asks, maybe you stay home.
The most honest answer can still cause hard feelings - "I like you as a friend, but I'm waiting for someone else to ask me ... Of course, I'm not sure he's gonna ask."
Perhaps you can help him understand your position. Ask him to put himself in your shoes, and ask him what he would do ... or what he thinks you should do.
If you say yes, his getting the wrong impression is a total guarantee, unless you're really honest about why you say yes and how you really feel about him.
Please write me again. I'm very interested in what you'll choose, and how Prom works out.
♥ Stephanie Lynn
Slow Down, Girl!
My best guy friend really wants to have sex with me because he says that this will take our friendship to the hottest level ever, and I think that he is hawt too, but i am in love with another person who has just started to come onto me. What should I do?...
I mean, I don't want to sound like an authority figure here. After all, I'm just a 21 year old young woman, not long out of high school myself.
Never have s** with someone just because he thinks you're hot. Like yourself and respect yourself enough to make s** something very special, an expression of true love. If you're in love with person B, then you shouldn't even be considering s** with person A, no matter what he feels or says. If in fact you have a friendship, s** will not take it to the hottest level ever. It will most likely ruin everything. That's especially true if you really like someone else right now.
S** isn't something you give to every guy who thinks you're hot, or even to every guy you think is hot. You probably don't want to end up at 17 pushing a baby carriage, and at 19 with a kid in one arm while again pushing a baby carriage. This is your life, the only one you get. You have the opportunity to make it a good one.
Out there is a really great guy, your guy, the one true love of your life. The one who will be there for you forever. But you probably won't meet him for years to come. The thing is, you may never meet him if you get off the right track now. Love for life almost never happens at 16 years old. We're just not ready yet. We're just not mature enough yet.
Please consider slowing down and thinking through what you want to do with your life. And please remember that I am always here for you!
Note: The response to this viewer's question contains the word sex enough times that search engines may direct unwanted traffic, so I substituted s**.
♥ Stephanie Lynn